adoption, beauty ho, crafts

November Wrap Up

Well, my nails have almost all broken since the Shellac came off.  That stuff is amazing but unfortunately we aren’t rich so I can’t afford to be Shellac’ed all the time.

In other news, meet Hank.  My friend Christina has a daughter Ella.  Ella always wants to go out with us so I promised her one day we’d have Ella day.  We went to a paint your own pottery place.  That’s where I painted Hank.  I love him.  He’s going to guard our house.

In adoption news we received some bad news recently.  Some of our paperwork was misfiled by someone working on our case and it has cost us about 3 months.  Now we’re playing catch up.  We have 1 more set of fingerprints to get then we’re finally done!!!  And the matching can begin.  I’ve been checking out the websites looking for suitable nuggets but no one is jumping out at me.  I’m still convinced that our perfect kidlet is out there somewhere!

adoption

Adoption Update

Home stretch!   We have had all of our home visits and inspections from the fire department, social worker, etc.  We have filled out all of our forms.  We have taken all of our classed.  We are CPR certified.  Right now we are waiting for the state of NC to approve our foster parent fingerprints.  Once those are approved then we have to have our fingerprints taken again.  These will be our adoptive parent fingerprints.  I think it is pretty dang silly that we have to submit 2 separate sets of fingerprints at 2 different times.  I promise we don’t file our prints off.   So now we are at the browsing stage.  We can browse for kidlets online.  It’s so odd to us.  You can browse the children too.  www.heartgalleryofamerica.org  or www.adoptuskids.org  Warning.  It will break your heart.  We want to adopt them all.   It’s so amazing to us that FINALLY we can just about see the finish line!

adoption

Adoption update

We had our office visit on Monday.  It was required for our licensing.  During the visit we learned something that is kind of a bummer.  We have to be chosen by the child(ren)’s social worker.  Which makes sense.  I guess my brain just never made the connection.  So basically once our home study is complete then we can be matched with a child or sibling group.  Then their social worker decides if we are a match.  Yet another hurdle but one we know is for the best.  All we have left now is for our fingerprints to come back (waiting on the state for that) and one last home visit.  Then the official wait begins!

adoption

Adoption Limbo

I get the occasional email and Facebook message from people wondering how the adoption is going.  Well, up til about a month ago it was going pretty well.  Our social worker came to visit and do our individual interviews last month and it went great.  But we have had some more speed bumps.  We are still working on the next steps I blogged about, but in the mean time we are dealing with some issues.   Long story so get comfy.  Continue reading “Adoption Limbo”

adoption

Next steps

A stored-pressure fire extinguisher
Image via Wikipedia

People have been asking what are our next steps in our adoption.

  • More social worker visits
  • Fire department inspection of the house
  • Couple of things we have to do to the house before the fire department can come out.  Like buy and hang HUGE fire extinguisher.
  • CPR class at the end of March
  • MOUNTAIN of paperwork.  I didn’t think we could possibly have more paperwork than we’ve already completed but no.  There’s more.  So, so much more.
  • Fingerprinting
  • Background checks
  • Wait

The waiting will be the hardest.  Our social worker told us that we can go ahead and start looking at the children that are available for adoption.  There are online photo listings.  You can look too.

Here.  Here.  And here.   Warning: this will break your heart.  It makes you wish you could adopt them all.  But hey, who knows, maybe one of you will see a child that will touch your heart and you’ll be on your way to adopting too!

adoption, birthday, csp, events, family, fun, Ling Ling, travel

2011, I think you’re gonna rock

2011 is going to be a big year for us.  On March 3 CSP & I will celebrate 10 years married.  On December 12 CSP will turn 40.  Between March & December we’ll have lots of other things going on as well I’m sure.  We’ve decided to celebrate those two milestones with a Disney Cruise in January 2012!  We’re so excited!  We booked the cruise in November with Lisa.  She’s a Disney travel agent (she’s also one of my favorite people) and she totally took care of us.  Got us the perfect room.  Then on CSP’s birthday his parents booked the cabin next to ours.  We haven’t taken a vacation with them before so it’s high time.  We are cruising on the Disney Magic.  When Lisa & Pete got married we cruised on the Disney Wonder.  It was so wonderful!  I can’t wait to experience another ship.  Cruising is my absolute favorite way to vacation.  If we could cruise to Vegas I’d totally do it.  I love the Disney ships most of all.  They are so beautiful!  This will be my 10th cruise and CSP’s 3rd.  It will be his parents’ first commercial cruise.  His dad did some cruising as a Vietnam vet but that’s not quite the same!  We booked rooms with balconies again.  We had a balcony room for Lisa & Pete’s wedding cruise in 2008 and it was wonderful.  Well worth the extra cost.  I went on a cruise in November 2009 on a Royal Caribbean ship and it just made me miss the Disney ship even more!

Our itinerary is exciting!  We are stopping at Castaway Cay (Disney’s private island),  Key West (CSP’s never been), Grand Cayman, and Cozumel.  We may stay on board in Cozumel if Mexico is still as dangerous then as it has been lately!  We don’t mind staying on board though- you get the pool to yourself!  Plus we have 2 full days at sea.  It’s a 7 night cruise- a real treat!

One of the most exciting aspects of this trip is who might be going with us… Continue reading “2011, I think you’re gonna rock”

adoption

How Dare You

I know a couple who decided to grow their family through adoption.  They went to China and adopted one of the most beautiful, witty, smart, funny, adorable little girls you’d ever have the pleasure of knowing.  This couple is one fine set of parents.  The little girl knows her manners, more importantly, uses her manners, and is just full of amazing qualities that were taught by her parents.  Her parents who love her to the moon and back and would gladly give their right arm and more for her.  She is their daughter through and through and it makes not one bit of difference to any of them or the people who know and love them, that she was not a product of their egg and sperm.

Because let me tell you something, biology does not a family make.  You aren’t related to your spouse.  But you are family. You know what makes family?  Love.  Plain and simple.

Let me tell you what happened to that family recently.  Some ass hat (yeah, I’m not holding back on this one) told their child, who we’ll call Bubba, or maybe Bubba just overheard, whatever, doesn’t matter, it was said.  Then Bubba went to school with my friend’s child, who we’ll call Jill, and told her that Jill’s mommy bought her from another mommy.  HOW DARE YOU.  And by you I mean the parent here.  Cause that kid is just a little kid and he/she doesn’t know any better.  Because you see, parents are supposed to teach their children the right thing to do.  So Bubba didn’t know (I’m assuming) that what he was saying was hurtful.  That what he said basically compared sweet Jill to a commodity, an item to be purchased, merchandise, a pair of socks.  And you know what you can do with a pair of socks?  You can return a pair of socks.  You can throw away a pair of socks.  A pair of socks is pretty cheap.

And this can make a little adopted girl feel pretty dang bad about herself.  And her place in her family.  And her self worth.

How dare you.  Let me tell you something, I am SO fired up about this.  Learning about this brought me to tears. Not just because I love Jill with a fierceness, but also because we too are on the adoption path.  We started down this path long before I had my hysterectomy.  Long before we were out of biological options.  We CHOSE adoption.  We are choosing to build our family through adoption because we want children and guess what?  There are children who want parents.  We aren’t trying to be heroes.  We aren’t looking for medals or stained glass windows erected in our honor.  And you know what else?  The children we are adopting aren’t merchandise.  They aren’t throwaway kids.  They are loved beyond measure.

Listen up you judging jackholes. Don’t you dare dismiss what I’m about to say with “Well, you’re just bitter because you can’t have your own children.”  What I have to say is valid and you know it.  How dare you judge how someone chooses to build their family. How dare you let those words come out of your mouth.  How dare you follow up with “Well, you know what I mean” or “I just don’t think before I speak”. How dare you.  No, we don’t know what you mean.  What do you mean?  Do you mean that we don’t love our kids as much as you love yours?  Are our kids subpar somehow?  How dare you imply with your reckless comments that our family is not as valid as yours.  That just because our kids don’t look like us they are any less our children.  You know what?  Anyone can get knocked up on a Saturday night.  But I would never think to say to my children “I wonder if Bubba’s parents’ condom broke or if he was planned”.  So how dare you even think it’s ok to ponder aloud Jill’s origins in such a way.  Why do people think it’s ok to discuss these things?

Jill’s mother had a great deal of tact.  She would never follow up a rude question about Jill’s origins with a rude one of her own.  She would never say “Hey, so did Bob get you from behind when you conceived Bubba?”  Or “Guess that birth control patch really isn’t 100%” or “Do you just call Bubba your little mistake?”

How dare you not think before you speak about our families.  How dare you teach your children that it’s ok to say such things. How dare you think it’s ok to ask such personal questions of us at the grocery store or park.  I am not naive enough to think that this won’t happen to my family.  When it does I hope I have as much tact as Jill’s mom.  And not punch you judging jackholes right in the throat.

adoption, health

Puke fest 2010

Forgot to tell you, so when CSP & I went out for our anniversary at the beginning of this month everything was great right?  That is, until about 4am the next morning.  I started throwing up and it did NOT stop for what felt like years.  I ended up being sick for a good week.  Fever, chills, lots and lots of puking.  It caused us to miss our last adoption class.  I was so upset! Luckily we’ll be able to make it all up.  It’s gonna take a while to get it scheduled, but we won’t have to start over or anything.  Yay!  Also luckily I had exchanged contact info with our favorite people in our class so we can keep in touch.  Yay!

adoption

Lost and found, safe and sound

We’re really hitting our stride in our adoption classes.  At Saturday’s class I noticed at least 3 people didn’t show up.  They also didn’t come to the Monday night class, so I’m guessing they dropped out at this point.  Saturday we talked all about loss, grief, attachment, and discipline.  These poor kids go through so much.  Our teacher is fantastic.  She had us go through this exercise to put us in the children’s shoes as they are ripped from their homes, usually by police officers, put into foster care, become part of a new family for a year or more then get sent back to their own homes or to an adoptive home.  And these are just kids.  They don’t understand. No matter what’s happened at home (abuse, whatever) it’s still home.  At least until they become apart of a new home. We’re so excited to finally become parents that it’s easy to forget that they won’t be nearly as excited to come live with us.

We also talked about safety and all the inspections our home will have to go through.   Our house is gonna look like a Motel 6!  We have to mount a ginormous fire extinguisher in our downstairs.  Plus evacuation routes have to be posted outside of the bedrooms.  Then Monday night we had blood borne pathogen and medicine administration training. We are going to be the safest joint around!

adoption

Circling the wagons

I thank you all for all your support and encouragement.  One day, after our adoptions are final, I will be able to set the record straight on a few things.  Until then I thank you again for your support and friendship.  It’s so nice to know that I have people looking out for me, people who care so much about us, our adoption, and our future kidlets.