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Bachelorettes Week 5

It’s Week 5 BBs and Rachel is STILL crying! But who could blame her??? ABC has thrown her into this romantic hellscape with no relief in sight! Poor girl!

You may remember from last week that Logan decided he wants to pursue Gabby instead of Rachel. AFTER he’s accepted 5, count em, 5 roses from Rachel!!! Shady McShadester!!! So before the group date, Logan goes to speak with Rachel and tells her that he has feelings for Gabby. Logan bows out of the group date. Rachel asks him why did he accept her rose last night, which Logan conveniently “doesn’t hear”. He leaves and poor Rachel is in tears. She feels like a failure as the Bachelorette. Jesse comes to see Rachel then goes to see Rachel’s guys, who are walking around Bruges, Belgium. Jesse tells the guys that the group date is canceled. Poor guys are REALLY disappointed. But, Rachel says she’ll see them later.

Meanwhile, Logan goes to see Gabby. He tells her “I was on fire for you!”. Seriously? Stop speaking now Logan.

Later, Rachel goes to see her guys for the Group Date After Party, wearing a hideous dress. She breaks my heart when she tells her guys to leave if they want. Then she has alone time with each of the guys and when she’s with Tino he says “I’ll take any piece of you any day.” Swooon!!! Love Tino!!! Tino gets the group date rose. As he should!

Gabby’s Group Date

Gabby and her guys tour around Bruges, play soccer with local kids, eat waffles, and play roshambo (rock, paper, scissors) with some locals. But in Belgium, when you lose, you get slapped in the face with a fish! It’s pretty entertaining! I can think of quite a few people I’d like to fish slap!!!

That night Logan joins the group and the other guys are NOT HAPPY. They are all questioning their connections with Gabby. G is looking super cute in a tiny lime green dress. Nate gets the group date rose.

Rachel 1-1 with Aven

The 2 of them tour around Bruges and make out. At Fake Dinner Aven talks about some Mommy drama he has and gives Rachel a bracelet his mom made. They make out some more and R gives Aven the rose. He is soooo cute.

Gabby 1-1 with Johnny

Johnny and Gabby go to a brewery, taste beer, get in a bathtub full of beer, and slap each other with eucalyptus branches. Honestly, before this I didn’t even know who Johnny was. Or why a grown man is still named Johnny. Or that he was on this show. At Fake Dinner Johnny admits he struggles with depression, which is pretty woke of him. Gabby gives Johnny the rose.

Cocktail Party

Gabby’s group is still fuming over the addition of Logan.

Rose Ceremony

Logan gets Gabby’s last rose. Gabby has 5 guys left and I think Rachel has 5 left too. Going home: Michael, Mario, and Meatball. We’re 2 weeks away from Hometowns already. What a dumpster fire this season has been!!!

Next week we’re going to Amsterdam!!! Until then BBs!!! xo🌹

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Bachelorettes Week 4

It’s Week 4 BBs, AND my birthday!!! 🥳🥳🥳 I’m late posting because I’ve been busy with festivities and couldn’t watch until early this afternoon. But let’s get into it!!!

First of all… I can’t believe Meatball is back!!! He does redeem himself, but more on that later. They don’t make an announcement or anything, he’s just back. At the mansion, all the guys are milling about and chatting and Hayden is saying some really terrible things about our lovely Bachelorettes!!! Remember, he’s the same guy who told Gabby she was too “rough around the edges to be his wife” last week. Well this week he takes it WAY too far!!! Hayden says “they (the bachelorettes) don’t hold a candle” to his ex. And then…AND THEN!!! He actually says out loud!!! “My dumb ass uses the verbiage that Gabby uses to describe herself, and she f-ing didn’t like that. Well, bitch, maybe you shouldn’t use that word to describe yourself then.” I am SHOOK again!!! Did he just call the Bachelorette a bitch?!?! I loathe that word!!! Oh and he totally said the F word, I just cleaned it up for y’all.

Jesse Palmer comes in and tells the guys that they are going to France!!! This is a HUGE deal, because normally when they say the guys are going somewhere romantic, it’s to Boise, not Paris!!!

Tino’s 1-1 with Rachel in Paris.

It’s a rainy day in Paris, but that doesn’t stop T&R from making out while walking around the city of Love. They make crepes and they seem to really be getting along. At Fake Dinner they seem to have great chemistry and you can tell Tino (is that his real name or a nickname? I have questions ABC!!!) is really into Rachel. THANK GOODNESS because last week was such a sh!tshow for her!!! Rachel even admits to Tino that she really likes him! Yay!!! He gets the rose.

Jason’s 1-1 with Gabby in Paris

Jason is so quiet. Like a mime, he’s so quiet. When he does speak he peppers his speech with so many “likes” I feel a drinking game coming on!!! Jason and Gabby get fitted for berets and go wine tasting. Over Fake Dinner G asks J why he’s so reserved and he says he has tennis trauma. You read that right. Tennis. Trauma. No idea what that’s supposed to mean. BUT when G tells J about her absentee mom and how her mom just doesn’t have the tools to love her like a mom should, Jason is genuinely empathetic, actively listens, and openly talks about his therapy and how it’s helped him. Points for that J!!! He gets the rose.

Meanwhile, the other guys have made it to France and board a Virgin cruise ship. Y’all know I love a cruise so I’m excited about this! Also, who knew Jesse Palmer could speak French??? Impressed!!!

Gabby Group Date

French Boxing. Say what now??? Seriously ABC??? You’ve flown all these people to France and all you can come up with for them to do is hit each other??? G’s guys warm up and learn some French boxing techniques, then they are ready for the big fight! Rachel and her guys come to watch. But NONE of R’s guys come to sit with her, or can even be bothered to look her way!!! It’s pitiful!!! Meanwhile Rachel has to sit there listening to Gabby’s guys professing their love for G before their matches. My heart breaks for R!!! Spencer wins the boxing match and gets 1-1 time with Gabby. Poor Rachel is feeling so insecure and is crying and even says that Clayton (yes, that scummy underbite sporting dbag) made her feel more secure and loved than her guys do!!! Again, pitiful!!! Rachel confronts her guys when they all get back to the cruise ship and tells them she’s disappointed in them. Way to go R!!! But it’s sooo sad that the freaking Bachelorette has to practically beg her guys to pay attention to her!!!

Rachel Group Date

Rachel takes the guys to see romance experts and boy do they need expert help!!! But instead of anything really helpful, the experts instruct the guys to flirt with Rachel (which goes terribly because no one seems to know how to flirt). Then they make out with their fists. I can’t make this stuff up! And the icing on the cake is they blindfold Rachel and make her sniff the guys’ armpits!!! I’m so confused and so sad for Rachel! Meanwhile, Logan (one of R’s guys) tells producers he really has feelings for Gabby! So this is a train wreck a’coming down the tracks!!! Poor Rachel can’t catch a break!!! Tyler somehow wins 1-1 time with R and they make out and he gets the rose.

Cocktail Party

Hayden is telling Rachel about his dog Rambo, who has a brain tumor and is allegedly clinging for life back at home. I say allegedly because Hayden is the kind of guy who would totally make this up if he thought it would serve him well. He’s all y’all and yes ma’am until you turn around and he trashes you to his friends. I hate him. Anyway, Tino interrupts Hayden’s story and Rachel apparently doesn’t react sadly enough for Hayden. Hayden rejoins the group and tells anyone who will listen that R should have been sobbing over Rambo.

Meatball tells Rachel all about the nasty things Hayden said back at the mansion. Way to go Meatball! Never thought I’d utter those words!!! 😂 Rachel pulls Hayden aside to talk but that narcissist thinks she’s come to speak to him about Rambo!!! R tells H what Meatball said and H denies denies denies. Hello! You’ve been recorded saying this stuff you moronic donut!!! So Rachel sends him home. She should have been allowed to push him overboard. Wasted use of a ship if you ask me.

R’s so upset it’s drama every day and she’s getting beaten down. She’s crying. Jesse cancels the rest of the party.

Rose Ceremony

Gabby sends Quincey and Kirk (who??) home.

Rachel gives Logan the last rose and he accepts it!!! Even though he’s all hotsy totsy for Gabby!!! This will not end well!!! Jordan gets sent home.

We have to wait until next week to see what other emotional Olympics ABC is planning on putting poor Rachel through while Gabby has a great time finding love in Europe!!!

Until then my BBs!!! xo 🌹

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Bachelorettes Week 3

BBs! I am SHOOK! The men this week hath shooketh me!!! The audacity! But we’ll get to that. It’s week 3 btw.

1-1 Rachel & Zach

We start out with a normal seeming 1-1. A limo picks Zach up and he joins Rachel in Hollywood. They walk into a tent where they see Karamo! Love him! K says that R & Z are going to be attending a movie premier, but first they have to get all glammed up! Z & R seem really excited and Z looks v cute in his tuxedo, but the horrible green/gold lame dress they put Rachel in is a crime against nature!!! R is a gorgeous, gorgeous woman and that dress is tacky beyond belief! Into the limo they go and they are off to the movie theatre. There’s a red carpet and a step and repeat and fake paparazzi calling their names and snapping pics. They go into the theatre and the “movie” is called Me & You and it’s basically a video montage of childhood photos and home videos, plus a message from both of their moms. By the end of it both R & Z are crying and making out and they both seem really into each other. So that’s good! Zach gets the rose.

Meanwhile, Gabby decides to drop by the guys’ house to casually hang with them during Rachel’s date. But none of the guys seem to really care that she’s there! In fact they keep on playing football and stay in their conversation groups while Gabby mills around literally looking for a bit of attention! It’s sad really! So she leaves and can you blame her?? I mean!

1-1 Erich & Gabby

Gabby arrives the next day to pick up Erich for their date and who else walks in?? Grandpa John! Yay!!! The 3 of them go to a yurt and have a sound bath. Then they go bowling and Gabby finds a Grandma to hang with Grandpa John. It’s v cute. She and Erich make out a bit at the bowling alley.

Fake Dinner

It’s just the two of them now and they are talking about their families when G tells E about how she’s estranged from her mom. Now, Gabby is already having a rough week with the failed hang at the guys’ house and she’s starting to wonder if she should even be the Bachelorette. So she breaks down into tears about her mom not loving her (which is totally heartbreaking) and Erich is just sitting there looking at his plate like “Please stop crying. Please stop crying.” G gets up from the table and walks off to collect herself and when she gets back to E, he halfheartedly consoles her. For some reason Gabby gives him the rose.

Group Date

This week’s group date they actually leave the house and there are 19 (!!!) guys on the date. They go to an outdoor photo shoot with G&R where the guys all dress up in silly costumes. There’s a baby costume, Adam (of Adam and Eve), cowboys, little kids, a pregnant man, etc. I don’t know which producer came up with this idea but they need a stern talking to! It is just so lame! BUT everyone seems to have a great time!


The group goes to SoFi stadium to hang out after the photo shoot. One after another, guys are telling Gabby that they are really here for Rachel. But “you’re so fun and such a great girl”. Poor G is in tears. And some of the guys take it too far. Hayden says TO GABBY’S GORGEOUS FACE, that she’s too rough around the edges to be his wife!!! Then Jacob tells G that if it were only Gabby as the Bachelorette, he’d leave. BYE then!!! What total jerks these guys are!

At the end of the night everyone gathers and Rachel gives cutie Aven the Group Date rose. All eyes turn to Gabby and she announces she’s not giving out a rose and to that I say good for you Gabby! Those jackasses don’t deserve your roses!!! Even Rachel is shocked that Gabby doesn’t give out her rose. Afterwards, G fills R in on what went down and R is horrified for G!

Cocktail Party

The next night is the pre- Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party and the guys are all sitting around trying to decide who THEY want to date. They clearly have forgotten that the women are in control here!!! Jesse comes in and tells them all that the party has been canceled. That they are going straight to the Rose Ceremony and that they will be divided into 2 groups from here on out- Gabby’s guys and Rachel’s guys. No more joint group dates AND if they accept a rose tonight they are committing to dating ONLY that woman from here on out.

Rose Ceremony

Everything is going well and normal, well, except the guys with roses are all outside calling themselves the Winners’ Circle (VOMIT). Then Termayne declines his rose from Rachel and says he is here for Gabby. Poor Rachel! To be rejected like that in front of everyone is mortifying! To make matters worse, Jesse walks in and TAKES THE ROSE AWAY saying now Termayne has to get back in line and hope for a rose from G and R loses that rose!!! UGH!!! Then Alec (with the world’s ugliest dangly earring) declines Rachel’s rose. THEN! (you know things always happen in 3s!) Meatball, MEATBALL!!!!!, declines Rachel’s rose! He’s a guy named Meatball and he’s rejecting a goddess??? I tell ya, I’m shook!!!

Going Home: Meatball, Termayne, Alec, and Jacob. Can’t say I’ll be missing any of these losers!!!

So this means Gabby has 9 guys: Michael, Erich, Nate, Johnny, Spencer, Jason, Mario, Kirk, and Quincey. Rachel has 8 left: Tino, Logan, Tyler, Ethan, Jordan, Hayden (WHY???), Aven, and Zach.

During the credits we see Meatball telling producers he made a mistake (YA THINK???), so he goes back in and grabs Rachel, who’s too gracious, and asks for a second chance. End scene. We’ll have to wait until next week to find out if Meatball comes back (LORT I hope not)!!! The balls on that guy! See what I did there??? 😂😂😂

Until next week BBs!!! xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelorettes Week 2

It is week 2 BBs! Y’all ready?? Let’s go!!! First up we have the Group Date. IF you can call it that! Remember, this season there are no rules! So Gabby & Rachel go over to the mansion and have all 29 (!!!) guys change into speedos, telling them that there will be a pageant- complete with interview and talent. It seems that NO ONE’S speedo fits because I’ve never seen so many black censor bars in my whole Earthly life!!! There are so many ding a lings trying to make a break for it everywhere you look!!! Some guys juggle, Chris sings (terribly), one guy does the worm (you KNOW that hurt), and Meatball pours marinara down his mostly naked and hairy body. I won’t eat spaghetti for a lonnnnng time! Jesse Palmer announces that the winners (6 of them) get to go to an exclusive after party at G&R’s mansion.

At the after party, Rachel is having a hard time. You can just see her spacing out as guy after guy offers up inane conversation topics like “how many US states he’s been to” and “which Harry Potter house she’d be in”. Meanwhile, Gabby seems to be having a pretty good time. Then Logan kisses BOTH girls, one after another. When G&R get together to compare notes Rachel says Logan kissed her and she likes him so Gabby keeps her Logan kiss to herself and lets R pursue him.

Rachel gives Logan her rose and Gabby gives hers to Johnny.

Jordan V’s 1-1

Rachel takes fresh faced Jordan V on a zero gravity plane. They float around and make out and no one vomits. Huzzah! I have so many questions about how a normal looking plane can get to zero gravity! But I’ll have to google that later because ABC ain’t sharing.

Fake Dinner

That night Rachel and Jordan are having Fake Dinner and Jordan is saying all the right things. They are getting along great but Rachel just isn’t feeling a spark. It could be because Jordan is cute and all but he looks about 17 years old. R talks to the producers and asks if she can send him home. They say sure. But wait! Do you have to ask G first? Again, there are no rules!!! It’s romantic mayhem up in here! So Rachel sends baby face Jordan home.

Back at the guy’s house, most of the guys are sitting around when a producer comes in and grabs Jordan’s bag. They then realize he’s been sent home and are SHOOK. Especially because it’s just the first 1-1!!! Meanwhile, Chris (the terrible singer) is chatting with a group of guys and brings up Fantasy Suites. What?!? It’s like day 4, dude. Way too soon!!! He says that when, not if, he gets to Fantasy Suites, if he finds out his girl has been intimate with another man, that’s a deal breaker and he’ll leave. But he won’t be sharing that info with G&R!!! Nice. Immediately the other guys jump to the ladies’ defense. Nate says Chris needs to have more respect, that G&R could be their loves and mothers of their children. V cool to see the guys having the ladies’ backs.

Nate’s 1-1

Nate and Gabby take a helicopter ride around LA. They make out and afterwards go in a hot tub. You have REALLY got to be a fan of hot tubs to be on this show. I notice they never have the bubbles going though, so are they really just tepid bath tubs?? Nate is wearing more jewelry than I do on any given day, including a pearl necklace, but I’m here for it. He’s giving me the villian from Black Panther meets Harry Styles vibes. That night they have fake dinner and Nate tells Gabby he has a 6 year old daughter. It’s v sweet listening to him talk about his baby girl. Gabby gives him the rose.

Pre-Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party

G&R are having a good night. The guys are attentive and everyone is kissing each other. Then, three of the guys grab Rachel and tell her about Chris’s Fantasy Suites talk. You can tell R has no idea who Chris is at first but then she gets angry. R pulls G away from her talk with some rando and fills G in on what’s going on with Chris. G&R then confront Chris who acts so bothered by these little women. He is so patronizing and condescending it’s not even funny. They send him home. He walks out then WALKS RIGHT BACK IN!!! He’s not respectful of the ladies’ decision AT ALL. Chris gathers up the guys he told about the Fantasy Suite business to confront them, but before he gets a chance, G&R spot him and kick him out. Again. What nerve he has!

Rose Ceremony

It’s announced that these roses are coming from both women. The ceremony itself is non-eventful. Going home: Ryan, Brandan (yes he spells it that way, UGH), Colin, Matt, Justin, and John. None of whom I could pick out of a lineup!!!

And that’s it for this week! Next week looks promising! I just hope at some point G&R sit down and hash out some rules before they get too far into this thing or it’s gonna get messy!!!
Until next week BBs! xo 🌹

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The Bachelorettes

Season Premier BBs! I’m back with my thoughts on the first week of the first season with two, count em, two bachelorettes- Gabby and Rachel!!! Let’s dive right in!

Firstly, what is this new mansion the girls are staying in?? Secondly, they both look amazing in their first night dresses! Thirdly, even Jesse Palmer has no idea how this is going to work! Did NO ONE sit down and spitball some ideas?? There are no rules here and sometimes you need a bit of structure!

Limo entrances-

I’m not going to list all the men. I think there are 417 of them. But I will note my standouts.

Zach is the first one out and both ladies agree he’s a cutie.
Matt is cute.
Logan, 26 brings two live baby chicks! They are pooping in his hands- bahahaha!!!
Quince tells G&R “I haven’t had sex in a year and a half!” Okayyyy.
Guys keep bring up Clayton. LET IT GO.
Alec brings a 4 person high school choral group to sing his praises!
One guy shows up barefoot. Gross.
One guy is called Meatball and brings a ginormous meatball sub.
Tino drives in on a forklift.
Jacob rides in shirtless and oiled on a horse. The horse is more beautiful than he is TBH.
There’s a set of twins who look to be about 9 years old.
Then there’s Erich (WHY did his parents add the H???).
And Aven. Dear LORT!!! This man is gorgeous!!!

Gabby gets the first kiss of the evening from Mario. Then Rachel gets a kiss from Tino, who turns out to be pretty cute. Erich ( it PAINS me to type that H) kisses Gabby. Good thing he’s a cutie.

Rachel gives her first impression rose to Tino and Gabby gives hers to Mario.

Rose Ceremony

All the men line up as per usual and R&G call Roby the magician (LAME) and the prepubescent twins Justin and Joey and ask to speak to them. The ladies take the men outside and send them home. I like this! Why make them sweat through an hours long rose ceremony if you’re not feeling it?? Brava!!!

The ladies walk back inside, tell the remaining guys what just went down and let them know that they are all safe from elimination and will be continuing on next week.

And that’s it for the premier! No rules! The previews for the season showcase the prerequisite teary montage, but also they go on a cruise!!! And to Paris, and it looks like Holland maybe. Way to go ABC for upping the budget finally after seasons staged in resorts because of Covid!

So, who stood out to you BBs??? Until next week!! xo 🌹

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Bachelor Season Finale

I know it’s late BBs, but I couldn’t go to bed tonight without recapping the season finale!!! We’re still in Iceland where Susie comes to talk to Clayton and meet his parents. Susie and Clayton go outside to talk. C- I didn’t mean the things I said. I want you back. Give me a 2nd chance. S- I don’t know if I’m in a place where I can do that right now.

The next day Clayton goes to see Gabby and Rachel. The man proceeds to break up with both of them at the same time!!! Could he be a bigger A hole??? Gabby walks out and Clay follows her. They argue and Gabby totally puts Clayton in his place. Clayton- Can I walk you out? Gabby- NO. When I tell you I whooped and clapped at this moment!!! It was glorious!!!

In LA- Gabby is in the hot seat and her Grandpa Joe is in the audience. LOVE him!!! Gabby confronts Clayton and totally calls him out. It’s amazing. She is so collected and poised!! She’s my hero!!! G- When you say you love someone you assume responsibility to protect them and not hurt them and you didn’t do any of those things! PREACH!!!

BTW, Clayton’s underbite is KILLING me!!!

Iceland- Clayton goes to talk to Rachel. Poor girl is crying and shaking like a leaf! Even as he’s walking her out to the waiting SUV, Rachel still doesn’t want to accept her fate. “I never stopped fighting for you!” Come on Rach, he’s so not worth it!!!

LA- Rachel is in the hot seat now, and she’s still crying. “I became collateral damage.” Clayton- I’m sorry. Rachel- I don’t believe you. Did you tell me you loved me just so you could sleep with me? WAY TO GO!!! And that, BBs, is how you get your dignity back!!!

Iceland- Clayton manages to get Susie to meet him in some little cabin so he can declare his love. He’s waving a ring box around like a threat. It’s such an odd, aggressive vibe. C- I love you blah blah blah. S- I don’t think you’re my person. I’m leaving Iceland alone. It’s over. Me- THANK GOODNESS!!!

LA- Note Aaron and Genevieve sitting together in the audience!!!

Clayton is on stage. Susie comes out. Apparently she reached out to him and now they are together and in love. Or he’s holding her hostage- you be the judge!

The next Bachelorettes are Gabby and Rachel!!! This will be interesting!!! It’s the LEAST ABC can do for those poor girls after what they went through in Iceland!!!

Until then BBs…. xo🌹

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Bachelor Week 10

WOWOWOWOWOW. BBs, this has gotten wild! Ok, so we start out with Clayton talking to Jesse about how he doesn’t have any trust anymore since Susie left him. UGH. I am SO OVER this man. Even though Susie left, there still has to be a rose ceremony.

Rose Ceremony

Gabby and Rachel notice right away that Susie is absent. Clayton tells G & R that he’s in love with both of them and Susie and that he was intimate with both G & R. Not surprisingly, both ladies are devastated and walk away in tears to gather themselves. While Jesse is talking with Clayton, all you can hear are Rachel’s gut wrenching sobs echoing throughout the building. I hope Clayton feels those sobs down in his black soul. Clay tells Jesse he wants to continue with both of them. Of course he does! Clayton is the epitome of having his cake and wanting to have sex with it too!!!

Gabby asks for an explanation of Susie’s absence and while telling her the story Clayton says now it’s all about who I love the most. Nice.

For reasons unbeknownst to me, both women appear for the rose ceremony. Rachel gets the first rose and accepts it. Gabby, however, does not accept!!! Yay Gabs!!!! The look on Rachel’s face is priceless! She’s like “We can say no? We aren’t being held hostage??” (I paraphrase).

While walking Gabby out, Clayton is begging her the whole time to stay. Gabby has a great line- “Love shouldn’t be measured”. The whole time Clay is all I know I know but what we have is special. Is it though??? He somehow talks her into staying and she accepts her rose with a reluctant “yeah”.

The next day it’s time to meet Clayton’s family. Mom, Dad and 2 brothers make the trip. Gabby is up first, then Rachel. Before Gabby arrives, Clayton explains the whole sh!t show to his parents. Dad says “You really screwed the pooch”. He sure did! And Gabby and Rachel too!!! His mother looks absolutely horrified and his dad looks downright embarrassed. The family dotes on the ladies and seems to love them both.

Once Rachel leaves, Clayton sits back down with his fam and discusses the women. But then he says his heart is still with Susie. Poor Mom is gobsmacked!!! It’s just a mess. Jesse appears and says Susie is still in Iceland.

We’ll have to wait until tomorrow to find out who Clayton ends up with! Not that he deserves ANY woman at this point!! Until then BBs… xo 🌹

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Bachelor Week 9- Fantasy Suites

WOW. Just wow. Where to begin BBs??? SO much to unpack. Let’s start with the first Fantasy Suite date. This week we are in Iceland. Iceland is stunningly beautiful and there are puffins! There are also 3 women who are all in love with the same dude and they are forced to share a hotel room. Nothing makes conversation more awkward than knowing your roommate is getting ready to go have sex with the guy you had sex with last night! GROSS.


Rachel’s date is first and they go on a helicopter ride then take a rickety elevator down an inactive volcano. That would be a HARD NOPE for me! I’ve seen this movie and the blonde doesn’t make it out! That night at Fake Dinner, Clayton tells Rachel he’s falling in love with her. She visibly melts in front of him. The next morning as Rachel stands on the balcony wrapped in a robe and sporting major bed head, Clay yells from the street to her that he loves her.


Gabby and Clayton go riding in a dune buggy on the black sand beaches. That night at Fake Dinner, Clayton tells Gabby he’s falling in love with her. She visibly melts in front of him. Skkkkkrrrrreeeech WHAT?!? Yep, it’s like I’m having MAJOR deja vu but no, he gives practically the same speech to both women. Then he has sex with them. My skin is crawling. The next morning as he’s leaving Gabby he yells (again with the public yelling) that he’s falling in love. Does he not know that these women and their families will be watching this show??? How special they must feel!!!


Lastly we have Susie’s date. All week she’s been watching the girls return from their overnight dates. She’s not dumb. She knows what’s going on. But she musters up a smile and she and Clay go to a hot spring. That night at Fake Dinner, Clayton tells Susie he’s falling in love with her. But instead of melting, Susie asks Clayton if he’s had sex with another woman here and is he in love with anyone else. He hems and haws but eventually arrives at yes and yes. But it’s ok Susie because “I’m the MOST in love with you”. VOMIT. Susie says she doesn’t think she can get past it. Sex is v important to her and she doesn’t want to be sloppy thirds or share in his “love” with other women. Who could blame her??? Ooh ooh, I know who! CLAYTON! He literally tells Susie that SHE is the one who let us get to this point. That SHE should have said something earlier. The audacity of it all!!!

They both walk away from the table for a moment. Jesse comes to talk to Clayton while Susie is crying while talking to producers. Susie comes out to talk to C some more and he yells at her. YELLS at her. “What am I supposed to do? You invalidated everything we have. I don’t know who you are anymore. This is BS. I’m walking you out.” OMG. HE is the one who couldn’t keep it in his pants. She doesn’t owe him squat!!! Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, all season Clayton has shown as much personality as a crouton, until tonight. Now we know. Now we know who he really is.

Poor Susie. Next week Clayton has to face the firing squad and yay for that. It looks wild. Ugh, I’m still seething!!! Until then BBs. xo🌹

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Bachelor Week 9

BBs- it’s that time again…the Women Tell All! This used to be a wild episode until a few seasons ago when it got all tame and lame. Until tonight!!!

First of all, there is just So. Much. Yelling. EVERYONE is pissed! At Shanae! At Clayton! At Shanae some more!!! Shanae is in the hot seat and it seems like the women are getting more and more angry that they can’t drive Shanae to tears. It’s like an angry mob but instead of torches and pitchforks they throw out barbs like “There isn’t FaceTune in Paradise Shanae!”. Bahahahaha!!! With each insult hurled, Shanae just shrugs and half smiles into the camera, seemingly unbothered by it all. And she is NOT sorry for anything she has done. Genevieve joins her in the hot seat and they are supposed to discuss their 2-1 date but before anyone can say anything, Shanae accuses Gene of going home and having sex with Aaron from Katie’s season! WHUT?!?!? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Gene is a grown woman and doesn’t owe Clayton a thing. But wow Shanae!

Sarah is in the hot seat next and doubles down saying that Clayton did indeed cry on their date. Sarah herself is trying to cry again, but remember, she’s all out of tears.

Teddi is up next. She seems emotionally wrought by the whole process, I mean, journey of it all. AND she tells us that none other than Clayton’s own BROTHER slid into her DMs!!! His brother y’all!!! SO gross!!!

When it’s Serene’s turn on stage she stays true to her name- calm and poised.

Finally Clayton comes out and the pitchforks are ready again! He declares that he regrets nothing- a bold statement considering the whole Shanae mess!!! Sierra puts him on blast- why did you believe Shanae over ALL of us??? He doesn’t have a good answer except they had a strong connection. Sarah even accuses Clayton of stirring the pot. But that’s rich coming from her. Clayton says again that he never cried with Sarah and Sarah tries to deflect, but it’s v clear she lied.

And after some bloopers…that’s all BBs! Until tomorrow when we have Fantasy Suites!!! xo 🌹

pop culture, tv

Bachelor Week 8

BBs!!! It’s time for Hometowns! One of my favorite episodes because we get to see the crazy families and watch level headed parents try to talk sense into their children! Let’s dive in!

FINALLY we get to travel for hometowns again! First up is Susie in Virginia. For their day date, Susie says she wants to see if Clayton likes to be choked! Ma’am, this is a family show! But she only means that she’s going to put Clayton through some Jiu Jitsu moves. Whew. I do NOT need to see Clayton in a bedroom! That night Clayton meets the fam and it is …..boring! Everyone loves him! The man is as exciting as uncooked pasta but ok!

Next up is Gabby in Denver, Colorado. Clayton says Everyone knows Gabby is the funniest girl in the world and, well, I’m just not seeing it. She does seem fun, but she’s no laugh riot IMO. Now, Gabby’s Grandpa?? That man is hilarious! When Grandpa meets Clayton and Gabby asks what he thinks, Gpa says I think he’s full of s#!t! Bahahaha!!! Gabby’s dad couldn’t be there because of Covid but right at the end of the night a car honks and Gabby goes outside. It’s her dad holding up big signs a la Love, Actually. His signs tell her he’s so proud and he loves her and I’m not crying, YOU’RE crying!

Serene is next in Oklahoma City, OK. For their day date, Serene takes Clay to this sky high obstacle course where she laughs at his fear the whole day. I just don’t see any chemistry with these two. Which tells you a LOT about Clayton because Serene is stunning. And so is her mom. And her brother. Dang, her whole ding dang family is hot!!! Hot Bro cries when he’s chatting with Serene and it makes me love him more- so sweet!!!

Lastly, we visit Rachel in Clermont, FL. They go kayaking in a swamp in gator country and see a spider the size of a baseball. NO JOKE. Nightmare fuel!!! They swim and make out in said swamp and I don’t know how they can concentrate with such creatures about. Rachel warns Clayton that her dad is super tough and FINALLY we’re going to get some drama but NO! Dad is just fine!!! Even gives Clay a hearty handshake and pat on the arm to signal his blessing!!! Come on!

Rose Ceremony

Serene goes home. You’re better off sweetie. Trust.

Next week is 2 nights of Bachelor fun including Women Tell All! Can’t wait! Until then! xo 🌹