The Bachelor, Week 1. I know it feels like I was JUST here talking about the Bachelorette 15 minutes ago, yet here we are with an all new Bachelor!
Matt James is the new Bachelor and he is a tall drink of water! 6’5″ to be exact. Matt is new to the Bachelor franchise. He’s from NC (represent!!!) although now he lives in NYC and works in real estate. Matt also works with kids. How exactly is he still single??? His dad is African-American and his mom is white. She visits him at his little house on the show and is it just me or does she look a LOT like Celine Dion??? My heart will go on!!!
Speaking of the show’s location this season, they are at the Chateau at Nemacolin resort in PA. Clearly the budget for the Bachelor is MUCH higher than the budget for the Bachelorette because this resort makes the La Quinta resort in Palm Springs look like a janky Motel 6 on the wide stretch of the highway!!!
So, we’re almost ready for Matt to meet the ladies but he asks Chris Harrison for some sit down advice time first. Matt’s height makes CH look like a wee elf!!! Matt says he’s never been in love and they talk about the significance of him being the first black Bachelor (ABOUT TIME!!!).
Limo entrances and first impressions-
1. Bri, 24, Communications Manager.
2. Racheal, 24, Graphic Designer. Stunning in her dark green dress!
3. Sarah, 24, Broadcast Journalist.
4. Jessenia, 27, Social Media Marketer.
5. Chelsea, 28, Runway Model. Wearing a V V strappy black dress and looking amazing! Even Matt says “she is WEARING that dress”.
6. Mari, 24, Marketing Director. Lots of marketing peeps tonight.
7. Magi, 32, Pharmacist from Ethiopia. STUNNING AND smart! Life is so unfair!!!
8. Carolyn, 30, Journalist.
9. Sydney, 28, Marketing Specialist.
10. Kristin, 27, Attorney.
11. Anna, 24, Copywriter. Gives Matt a cute Bachelor survival kit.
12. Khaylah, 28, Healthcare Advocate. Has too many Hs in her name. From NC (yay!). Pulls up in a vintage pick up truck. A stick shift at that! Kudos! And she’s drop dead gorgeous!
13. Serena C., 24, Flight Attendant.
14. Serena P., 22, Publicist. Brings with her a step stool since she’s just 5’2″. Cute!
15. Alicia, 24, Professional Ballerina.
16. Saneh, 25, IT Consultant. Wearing Goat shoes. Like cloven hoofed goat shoes.
17. Alana, 26, Photographer. Wearing the same red, strappy dress as Anna. Presents Matt with a bowl of spaghetti so they can have a Lady and the Tramp moment.
18. Kaili, 26, Hostess. Walks up in lingerie! Just an open robe, bra, panties, and stilettos! She’s pulling a garment rack with 2 dresses hanging on it. Asks Matt to pick her dress for the evening. She’s smoking hot and clearly confident!
19. Abigail, 25, Client Financial Manager. She was born deaf.
20. Corrinne, 22, Marketing Manager. See what I mean about all the marketing??
21. Marylynn, 28, Event Coordinator.
22. Emani, 25, Realtor.
23. Lauren, 23, Corporate Attorney.
24. Peiper, 23, Grad Student.
25. MJ, 23, Hair Stylist. Drives up in a beat up pizza delivery car. Gives Matt a pizza.
26. Katie, 29, Bank Marketing Manager. Brings a VIBRATOR with her. It lights up and buzzes. This girl is a whole vibe.
27. Amber, 30, Nursing Student. Rides up on tandem bicycle.
28. Kimberly, 28, Airline Recruiter. Inexplicably throws a GIANT fake fish at Matt.
29. Casandra, 25, Social Worker. Arrives wearing a football jersey with Mrs. James on the back.
30. Illeana, 25, Health Food Developer. Asks Matt “Can I put my balls in your mouth?”. Meatballs. GROAN.
31. Kit 21, Fashion Entrepreneur. Whatever that means. She’s wearing the only short dress of the evening.
32. Victoria, 27, Queen. UGH. She arrives by being carried by 4 men on a throne. Wearing a tiara, brought a crown for Matt.
I have to say, this is the most beautiful group of women I’ve ever seen! Most of the dresses are gorgeous too.
The women are all gathered when Matt arrives. He LEADS THEM IN PRAYER!!!! Then he gives a wee speech. You can tell he’s nervous.
The cocktail party is pretty standard and uneventful. Until Mari and Matt are talking about how she’s from Puerto Rico. Matt asks some empathetic questions about her family and all of the natural disasters there. JUST as Mari is about to respond, Katie TAPS HER ON THE SHOULDER with that vibrator!!!! GAG!!!! In the age of Covid you’d think people would be more sanitary!!!
Then Kit has JUST sat down to talk with Matt when Victoria walks up and says “Excuse me princess, but the queen is here.” GROAN. I already loathe this girl. And it’s not because she’s clearly drunk.
CH brings in the First Impression rose and all the girls go wild with speculation.
Victoria interrupts yet another girl to talk to Matt a second time. This does not go over well with the other ladies, especially because almost half of them have yet to talk to him!
Matt and Abigail are talking and I already love her. She’s got a personality! And she’s not ashamed of the fact that she’s deaf. Then….Matt kisses her! Yay!!! He comes back a few moments later and gives her the 1st Impression Rose. Yay some more!!!
Bri gets the first rose. Victoria gets the last rose and it’s CLEAR that she’s a producer save because Matt does not look happy handing her that rose.
Going home: Alicia, Amber, Carolyn, Casandra, Corrinne, Emani, Kimberly, and Saneh.
SO Matt still has approximately 417 ladies left. 24 really. But this is a record amount to start with. Apparently women swarmed ABC with applications when it was announced that Matt would be the Bachelor.
Be sure to watch the credits scenes. This one is hilarious!!! CH drives the pick up truck away and he’s so proud of himself for knowing how to drive a stick!
And that’s it until next week BBs!!! xo🌹